i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
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