drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
