She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
