Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize