Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
