I bet he comes in French.
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
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