Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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