i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Randomize