i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
