Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(319): View more from Iowa

Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts

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(864): View more from South Carolina

weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.

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(781): View more from Massachusetts

walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this

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(910): View more from North Carolina

Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?

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(509): View more from Washington

I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication

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(801): View more from Utah

Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual

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