oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
