im drinking this country out of the recession.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
