Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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