she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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