there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Dear god my vagina.
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