6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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