Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
