I think I am morally bankrupt
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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