so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
the room spins SO much faster in panama
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Randomize
