if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
