Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Randomize
