Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
