My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
