She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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