I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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