well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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