Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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