Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
