thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Randomize
