My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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