was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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