The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
