I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
