I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize