The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize