not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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