i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
