dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He did a backflip because drugs
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
