Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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