Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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