I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
