I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
PANTIES FOUND
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