youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Randomize
