I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
Randomize
