I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
Randomize
