Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
