I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
