I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
