the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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