He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
