I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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