Heybabeimwearingurpanties
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
