If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
