Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
