Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm sobbing to NWA
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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