i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
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