He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
