loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
