He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
