soooo we both peed the bed last night...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
