i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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