My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
