I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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