Yo dont text me then not text me
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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