Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
