You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize