I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Totally just railed SuperGirl for my birthday. Best Girlfriend EVER!
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
