Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Randomize
