i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I wish I only lived at night.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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