i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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