Your mouth is God's brothel.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
