god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Randomize
