Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Randomize
