I hate all girls vehemently.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Don't EVER smell your tampon
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
