we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
