Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
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