she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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