the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
that's an acceptable place to lick
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
