that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
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